Landis is youngest "Quiet Please" sign holder ever PHOTO: T Love

Since my last conversation with Floyd Landis his luck has turned around. With a record setting time trial victory in the Tour of the Bahamas, Landis has been offered a lucrative job. Not content with just working, Landis has also taken a group of young cyclists under his wing and is guiding them in the fine art of cycling. As you can see, life at the Landis shack is looking up.

Browne Eye: How were you lucky enough to get a job as a golf marshal?
Floyd Landis: Well I was lucky enough to run into a guy who works for the Quiet Sign Holders Union and he is also a cyclist so I was allowed in without doing time as a sign holder for car washes and things like that on the sidewalk. Ordinarily you would have to do several years as a sign twirler so I’m the youngest Quiet Sign Holder in history.

Browne Eye: What are some of the skills required to be a golf marshal?
Landis: It takes tremendous focus and an ability to project an aura of authority. Many former Quiet Sign Holders have gone on to be such things as managers at fast food establishments and RadioShacks.

Browne Eye: Is it as much a cougar magnet as it is rumored?
Landis: You know there is some wild life around Torrey Pines because it’s on the beach but the bigger danger is dolphins, they are sexual predators. I’ve personally never had a run in with a cougar.

Browne Eye: Do you have to wash a lot of golf balls?
Landis: No, that’s an entirely different union, the Ball Shiners Union, and they don’t get along with the Quiet Sign guys.

Browne Eye: Tell us about your shack behind the car wash.
Landis: It’s quite nice. Now that I’ve got an income I’ve been able to get a home equity loan and I’m going to head over to Home Depot to get a new roof/tarp before it starts raining again. The cardboard just doesn’t hold up when it gets wet.

Landis and a young man behind the car wash PHOTO: T Love

Browne Eye: What are some of the perks of living behind a car wash?
Landis: A lot of times people will put a stack of quarters on the ledge where you pay for the car wash and they’ll forget some of them when they leave or not notice you taking them while they are washing the car. Also, there are often half smoked cigarette butts on the ground so that saves me quite a bit of cash.

Browne Eye: The U-23 Garmin riders probably have all the fundamentals of training down. What else can you show them? Are you demonstrating proper wheelie technique?
Landis: I really don’t know much about that. I just give them a place to stay and ride with them now and then. Usually if they have questions I suggest a book by Chris Carmichael or something of that nature or just tell them to quit.

Browne Eye: Is it legal for you to have that many young boys staying with you at your shack?
Landis: Probably not, I don’t have a building permit for the upgrades I’m doing so the whole thing is not exactly legal.

Browne Eye: What’s the vibe like staying with you at the shack? Do you make them do things for you?
Landis: We have lots of boom boxes and shitty Chinese made remote control cars and transistors and shit like that so there is never a dull moment as long as you are one of those nut jobs that are into that sort of nonsense. Also we have lots of rechargeable batteries.

Is Landis dreaming of Rock Racing? PHOTO: T Love

Browne Eye: What’s your daily training regiment since your victory in the time trial in the Tour of the Bahamas?
Landis: Since then I’ve started my sign holding career so my training has been less intense. I’ve found that my arms get tired if I ride too much.

Browne Eye: Now that it looks like Rock Racing has a Mexican racing license will you be racing for Rock?
Landis: What?

Browne Eye: What book is on your nightstand right now?
Landis: Well, I use an upside down Folgers coffee can as a nightstand and it has car wash tokens and a bottle of Johnny Walker on it. I had to burn the book a few nights ago for heat and I can’t remember what it was. I think it was a heart rate monitor user manual but I can’t remember. It could have been We Might as Well Marry a Hooker. Either way I never read it.

Landis never turns his back on dolphins

Floyd Landis - Man of Mystery Photo: John Segesta

As the season approaches and teams are conducting training camps, Rock Racing has been surprisingly silent. No press releases of upcoming training camps or even a 2010  team roster. In 2009 Rock rode in a splashy kit proclaiming “Rocks not dead”. For 2010 team owner Michael Ball stated he was taking the team to the next level: pro continental. Rumors swirled around the team. Rock Racing was going to be registered in Mexico, they were going to race in Europe and even earn wild card entries into the Classics and smaller stage races. With a strong core roster of Spanish riders like Oscar Sevilla, Victor Hugo Pena and Francisco Mancebo the team has proven to be a force to be reckoned with domestically, so why not take it to the next step? Hyperbole ramped up to overdrive at Interbike where Ball unveiled a complete line-up of Rock branded cycling apparel as well as full carbon fiber frames and components. For 2010 they strengthened the Rock team by signing Tony Cruz, a rider who has raced successfully on both sides of the Atlantic. However the new marquee rider Ball was rumored to have signed was Floyd Landis. Landis issued a press release in December stating his departure from the OUCH team (now UnitedHealthcare Pro Cycling Team) however leaving out who he was going to be racing for in 2010. This only fueled the fires of speculation of who he was racing for in 2010. But all those Rock Racing dreams of a European campaign, and perhaps even an American campaign, have seemed to have crashed with the denial of pro continental status by the UCI. Sources have told me that Ball still owes money to riders and race promoters which will seriously hamper any chance of competing in any races of importance.  After several days of text messaging with Landis I was able to track him down on the phone to discuss the upcoming season and whether Rock was indeed dead.

With the apocalyptic weather conditions that has been lashing down on Southern California I asked Landis what he has been doing for training. “Oh the usual. Riding around, bowling, just doing stuff.” I pressed him on the status of the Rock team and the rumors that he had signed with the team for 2010. On this subject he was a little more to the point. “I’m racing in the Tour of the Bahamas this weekend in a Rock kit, so yeah, I’m doing that. I told them (Rock Racing) that I wanted to do that race so they sent me a kit.” Landis is lining up for his first race in 2010 in a Rock kit, but what is the status for the rest of the year? “I honestly don’t know. I don’t know even if Ball has thought about the team these last two weeks. I don’t know what is going on. I’m focusing on my training and my bowling. I need to think of my future after cycling and bowling might be it.” After the Tour of the Bahamas his future is not so crystal clear. “I have no clue what’s going on. After the Tour of the Bahamas I’m going back to my shack behind the car wash. Maybe I’ll write a book.”

“We’re obviously very disappointed but are working diligently to satisfy every requirement that is being asked of us. We are committed to doing whatever it takes to ensure we can race next year.”

The UCI approved these teams for Pro Continental status.

Acqua & Sapone
Andalucia Cajasur
Bbox Bouygues Telecom
BMC Racing Team
Carmiooro – NGC
CCC Polsat Polkowice
Ceramica Flaminia
Cervélo Test Team
Cofidis
Colnago – CSF Inox
ISD – Neri
Landbouwkrediet
De Rosa – Stac Plastic
Saur – Sojasun
Scott – Marcondes César Sao José dos Campos
Skil – Shimano
Topsport Vlaanderen – Mercator
Vacansoleil Pro Cycling Team
Voralberg – Corratec

Anonymous: That’s 100 kph an hour, right?

Neil: As a rule I never drive Euro cars! If I see any kilometers on the gauges, including the speed, I refuse that vehicle. This all goes back to a rather nasty encounter I had a Spanish police officer. On the advise of council I cannot say if I was going 100 miles per hour in the V6 Highlander.

Cycle Momma: Nice. I am wearing those 2XU compression tights right now! I don’t have any bulges though.
Neil: We are going to need photos to verify that claim.
Anonymous: Judging by that extra foot in the picture, Tim is obviously very excited by the presence of the person behind him…

Neil: Tim Johnson is excited all the time. Whether it’s the start of a stage or 2:00 a.m. in a New England bar, Johnson is excited and loves to talk.

Ping Pong: Tell Tuckerman Ping Pong says hello.

Neil: I will.

Anonymous: I can’t wait to see the rest of the [Rock Racing] women’s team.

Neil: Here you go!

XXX: This blog sucks ass!

Neil: I know. Try this blog instead.

Its the usual chaos at the start. The big buzz of course is Rock. We are going to do a video interview with Ball in a few minutes. Check out the ROAD site for all our video schinanigans.

All types of media outlets are here at the camp and just not cycling only magazines. Versus is out here with a camera crew as is various sporting magazines. I can safely say that I’ve never been to a team camp like this before.

Never been to a training camp that had an after party. This could go awhile.

DeRosa is the bike of choice for Rock this year. Campy equiped with what looks like Cole Wheels.

It's raining in Malibu and the guys just got done riding. Very Euro!

It’s been awhile since I blogged. I’ve had stuff to write about from the Tour of California, like Tim Johnson telling me how the Health Net squad and the Slipstream team got into a food fight. Johnson is great at giving me the hot scoop on what’s really going on. But like Tim blogged on ROAD Mag, we were slammed. We got everything in this morning so we are officially done. The one thing that threw a spanner into the works was choosing the cover shot. We had a bunch of great shots, but once we blew them up to cover size, they started to pixulate. Or the photo was ever so slightly out of focus, giving the photo a ‘soft look.’ It was two days of Tim going over photos, printing them out and then us looking at them trying to make a choice. At one point we almost had the cover. It was crystal clear, but not very exciting. Just the front of the group rolling along. Not something that really grabbed us. I had shown Tim a photo I took from the prologue. It’s of Levi throwing the bike across the line. It turned out very sharp. We were going to use it in our ToC feature, but I jokingly said why don’t we try that as a cover? I’ve never had a cover, so my life has been an empty shell. Using one of my shots would complete my life. Tim did a mock up of my photo on the cover and we liked it! So it is official, I have a cover shot!

Now that we have a little bit of breathing room, I’m going to start blogging more and write about such subjects like who scrawled ‘ROAD Mag’ on our training loop in Santa Clarita, how the Rock Racing team is like the Steelers, and why Floyd Landis called an editor at Bicycling Magazine a butt pirate.

Tim and I saw this on yesterday’s ride on Old Road in Santa Clarita.

Me interviewing Bettini at the ToC. He’s thinking about my Britney Spears question.
“Si, we did bump into Britney. She’s pazzesco!”

The Rock Racing guys rolled up to Merced in Cadillac Escalades with big chrome wheels and thumpn’ sound system. Word!